yesterday night
i think yesterday night was really one of the rare nights where i went to sleep feeling down or upset. We have this rule where we won’t go to sleep with one person still angry at other, or whatever is on our mind that is making us sad that we tell the other person. And I kept my promise. I told you how i felt, i wrote about how i felt, but yet, I had to go to bed…upset. And to be honest, i wasn’t even upset at you by the time i went to bed, i was upset at the situation i was put into. I’m pretty much moving for sure. I guess i expected you to be able to know just the right words to say to comfort me, or just be there for me and talk it out with me. And I guess i was wrong to expect that.
But really bugs me the most is that it seems like you don’t really care…i feel really stupid to be sad over something that you don’t seem to care about. I’m considering to give up the school of my dreams just so i can spend more time with you and yet you have no opinion or comments towards this topic? I don’t even know how to process that. Im thinking it’s either you didn’t actually listen to me the first time so you dont really remember that i said it, or you just don’t care enough to comment. Anyone else would say that me picking to go to SFU just for you would be the stupidest thing a person can do. I don’t even care if i’m stupid. But i do care that you don’t give a crap about what’s going on in my life.
i cried at school today thinking about this. And i’m crying right now talking about this. But again…you have failed to comfort me.
Posted April 25, 2012 at 2:11pm
we might as well be living on a different planet
so, i found out, just now, my parents and my sister made an offer on a house in coquitlem. i know i don’t have the right of say in this because i’m not the money maker in my family, but I really don’t want to move. It really sucks. It’s really far. I mean, I live far from him already…but now it’s even farther…I don’t want to move. Once I found out, i immediately went on google and checked how far it would be to travel everywhere. It takes 45 min to go to his house by car and 2 hours to bus. An hour and a half to bus to UBC. One hour to bus to SFU. 20 min to get to church. 18 min to go to E tea. Moving to coquitlem means no more hanging out after fellowship because no one can drive me home. It means waking up extra early just to go to school and church. It means not seeing him as often because we live on the opposite side of lowermainland….litterally…he’s southwest, i’m north east. And because i’m most likely going to go to UBC, at all times he’s going to be opposite from me because he goes to SFU. Which makes me asks myself one question…do i really want to go to UBC now? I know it’s completely stupid to go to a school based on where your boyfriend goes to but if i don’t…pretty much i’m not going to get to see him unless it’s because we’re going to church. I also know i shouldn’t be complaining… i know we already have it better than some couples where they’re going to be in different countries or different province in a little while…but i just hate this distance so much. I swear, after i move, i will only be able to see him on friday and sunday. And it’s not even going to be “alone time”…it’s going to be with everyone. what do…? not go to UBC? is that the answer to my problem?
Posted April 21, 2012 at 12:21pm
silly highschool
grade 12 is so full of drama. All the backstabbing, all the gossiping. Aren’t we all a little too old for this kind of stuff? It’s our last year together, why do we have to sink to this level? its pathetic. Talking trash behind people’s back doesn’t make you all that. Its not like we don’t know. we’re just too tired of it, and we hope to preserve the best out of highschool, the best memory of you. But when push comes to shove, i will do something about it, and everything will be out in the open; I just really don’t want it to end up that way. But really it doesn’t matter, because once we are out of highschool, we find out who actually sticks around, who actually cares when a crisis comes.
Posted April 11, 2012 at 4:10pm
Every girl needs reassurance,
She needs you to tell her, prove to her, reassure her that she’s exactly the right one for you. Maybe not all the time, but how hard is it to do it once in awhile? Don’t make her doubt you. Who doesn’t like consistency? She just wants to know that you won’t wake up one morning and feel any differently.
(via vickynguyenmyhong)
